Good morning kids,
Did you know that that your words have tremendous power? Of course, you know they are used to communicate thoughts and emotions with others. That’s kind of a big duh. What you may not know is the power words have over you when you think them. I mean, a word is just a word, right? Not so.
The words you think can have so much meaning that they have the potential to impact your life in unimaginable ways. The words you speak to yourself will dictate how you relate to others and how you behave. Let’s take a look at an example.
Let’s say you’re on your way to meet a person for the first time. It doesn’t really matter much who. Maybe it’s a blind date or an interview for a job. You’re not sure what to expect when you get there so you begin an inner dialogue. What will that dialogue be and what effect will it have on the person you’re about to meet?
Maybe you have a dialogue based in fear such as:
- What if this person doesn’t like me?
- What if s/he is unattractive?
- What if I make a lousy impression?
Not only will this fear inducing dialogue stress you out, it will increase the odds of a poor first encounter with the other person. So, don’t have that type of self dialogue. Instead replace it with something like:
- This is going to be a wonderful opportunity to meet someone new.
- It doesn’t matter what this person looks like, I will treat them with love and respect.
- I am relaxed because this person (even if it’s someone who is interviewing you for a job) is a new friend yet to be discovered.
Just before the meeting, fill your heart and mind with compassion. It’s easy to do when you realize that the new person has just as many troubles and fears to deal with as you do.
Now let’s say the worst happens. The person you meet is a butt. Of course, their being a butt has nothing to do with you unless you allow it to. In other words, it’s their problem, not yours.
Let’s take a look at some of the reasons people get cranky or even cruel. (That also might even be you sometimes. Just saying.).
• They may be mentally of physically ill
• They may be going through some sort of problem in their life such as a job loss, divorce or legal dispute. Who knows? It could be anything life has a habit at throwing at people.
• They may be trying to shore up their self esteem at the expense of those around them.
• Maybe they feel that no one loves or cares about them.
How you deal with this type of situation will depend largely on the confidence you have in yourself. The more comfortable you are at being you, the better you can deal with difficult people. Gaining this confidence is easy and you will learn a step by step method of gaining it in my next post.
Anyway, back to how to deal with the butts you encounter. One way is to simply ask the person what is troubling them. They’re not expecting you to do this and it often shocks the truth out of them. You can word it something like this, “You seem to be angry. Don’t you feel well?” If you ask with true compassion and caring, the person will often respond with what is troubling them. The other alternative is simply to walk away. This is what most people do when confronted with an angry person.
On the other hand if the person seems upset or angry because of something you have said or done or something they believe you have said or done. You might ask them, “You seem to be angry with me. Why?” In answer to this they may or may not be forthcoming. Be prepared if they do tell you what you’ve done to upset them. If their beef is justified, apologize. If it’s not justified, explain your actions. Sometimes you may already know why the person is angry. Did you turn them in to their boss for an indiscretion? Did you fire them? Did you say something negative about this person that got back to them?
In these situations, there’s may be little you can do other than to let them move on with their life as you move on with yours. Just be sure and learn the right lessons. Live compassionately. Give a person every chance before firing them? Discuss a grievance with someone before reporting them. And never ever gossip. When you gossip, all you’re doing is trying to elevate yourself at the expense of someone else. It doesn’t work. All that does is cost you the respect and trust of others.
Just remember, the words you think have the power to affect your emotions and behavior which in turn affects how others respond to you. The more compassion and love you feed into yourself and the world around you, the better your life will be. So, be careful what you feed yourself in the form of the words you think.
Love,
Mama Vic
P.S. What you hear and see also affects what you think so put way more positive things in than negative. Hateful newscasters do you no favors and neither does a steady stream of violent movies, videos and games. It’s pretty simple; negative in equals negative out.
Great article.