There are two truths about our lives. As we age, we must face the fact that we can no longer do many of the things we once did. A tragic event may interfere with our goals and aspirations.
When the body and or mind no longer functions the way we want them to, we often get depressed. This seems to be particularly true in western societies that place a high value on youth and productivity. Older people are often stuffed in institutions where their basic needs are cared for and little more. Don’t believe me? Visit a few nursing homes. The fact is old folks we can learn from their lifetime of experiences.
Sometimes our mental problem might be dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, or trauma to our brain. If we have enough cognition to be aware of the problem, we may suffer deep depression. We may feel frustrated. We may feel worthless and helpless. We may attempt to kill ourselves.
Of course, all those feelings aren’t the least bit helpful. They will make the problem worse.
My body experienced trauma that left it with deficits and now it’s experiencing age. I’m here to tell you that neither is easy. In fact, it kinda’ sucks. You and your situation will be different, but I can share with you what helps me. Here’s what I learned:
- Focus on the things you can still do. That was difficult for me when I broke bones (including my back) by falling off my roof. There were so many small ordinary things I struggled with like tying my damn shoes.
- Appreciate those that help you. I spent a great deal of time on this because there were so many people to appreciate. When I was recovering from my fall, even my little cat helped. He seemed to understand my struggle and never left my side more than a few minutes.
- Be aware that all of us in today’s world are dependent on others. I was raised by a fiercely independent dad. I think he learned to think differently when his body started to fail. My fall definitely taught me that lesson.
- Work on improving your abilities or creating new skills. It was easy to get lazy by telling myself the “I Can’t Do It” story.
- Add comedy to your daily activities. Read a funny book, watch a funny show, tell a funny story. This will help both you and the people caring for you.
- Listen to or read stories that inspire you to get your thinking straight. You are not your body. Get to know who you truly are and all will be well regardless of what happens to your body.
- When you are tempted to have a pity party complete with cake and ice cream, look at the success of other folks who are much worse off than you are.
- Be aware of your negative thoughts. Don’t deny they exist or try to inhibit them because that won’t work.
You might want to read other posts here at Mama Vic for additional helpful insights. The most helpful might be on impermanence, discovering who you are, and what happens after you die.
